Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Joy in the Little Things - Day 15

Finding joy today didn't come easy. Not that I wasn't happy or grateful for all of the wonderful blessings the Lord has given me, but the past few nights, I have really felt like I am in a battle with Satan.

I've been getting up in the middle of the night 2-4 times. Each time, when I get back in bed and try to get comfortable, it feels like Caleb is having some kind of panic attack. It almost feels like what I can imagine a seizure would feel like, and lasts probably in all reality, 2-3 minutes max. He does not move like this ANY other time during the day, and boy does he moves a lot. This has been really scary for me, and when this happens, I find myself frightened that maybe the cord is wrapped around his neck and he's trying to get free. This is when the fear consumes me and I find myself in my own little panic attack. The only way I have found that I can get back to sleep is by praying. I fall asleep praying for the Lord to protect Caleb, to keep him safe, and to keep me safe as well.

The good news is that each morning I wake up and feel him kicking and moving as he normally does, which puts my mind at ease for that moment. I don't know where this fear comes from except from Satan. It's really the first time in my entire pregnancy that I have been fearful of Caleb's life and well-being.

I do praise the Lord for giving me feelings of Caleb's normal movement during the day, and I continue to pray against any harm, and espeically against the attacks of the enemy. He knows that I am weak when I am half asleep, and he has used that weakness against me.

So, my joy for today is found in the fact that each morning I wake up, I find my pregnancy and Caleb's movements to be back to normal.

I covet any and all prayers as I battle this out with Satan, and continue to trust the Lord with Caleb's life.

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your weary souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-29

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

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