Monday, February 25, 2008

A Voice of Reason

I love reading back through all of my old journals and seeing where I've come and what the Lord has brought me through. One thing that is consistent in ALL my journaling, is the fact that I am a very emotional girl!! Although I've known this for many years now, I'm still shocked at my reactions to different situations the Lord has allowed me to go through. Sometimes there are plenty of "Ah Ha!" moments and other times, I am humbled by the grace the Lord has extended me. Even though my "thoughts" at that moment might have been filled with confusion, sadness, or an overwhelming feeling, I am so encouraged by the fact that no matter where I am in life, or what I'm going through, the Lord is there, waiting to comfort me and fill me with his joy. And even though I have great desires for my life, until my desire for the Lord is greater than any other desire in my heart, what purpose would He accomplish by giving me what I want? NONE! Lord, you are so gracious to see my sin, reveal it to me in such a gentle way, and allow me to fall at your feet and long for nothing more than for you to fill my cup!! My timing is never, nor will it probably ever be, in line with YOUR timing. But in the meantime, I know that I can " in your unfailing love..." and that " know the plans you have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future." Help me to trust and believe your promises, always!!

In my journal entry from July 2007, I wrote, "I feel dehydrated, but I don't feel the need to drink the water of life." At that point in time I felt like I was in a spiritual desert. I was not in the word daily, and felt almost hopeless. My life did not reflect the love, compassion, grace, mercy or joy that the Lord offers to me abundantly. I thought I could find and experience all of those things only when I was in the mountains, or by a river, or in the beautiful nature that surrounds us, or when a cool breeze brushed across my face. And although all of those things do calm my spirit, I was graciously reminded that the Lord is EVERYWHERE. He is in the driest deserts of Africa, he is in the ocean air of California, and he is even in the flat, hot & humid plains of Dallas, Texas!! My heart must be open enough to see that though. I cannot allow Satan to lure me in with his lies that I can only find joy & peace in certain circumstances or locations. No! Only through the Lord will I ever be able to experience freedom, passion, joy and overwhelming peace!! And on those days when I am in doubt, I must first run to the open arms of my Savior, the one who once said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-29).

When I am in those moments of doubt, stress, hurt and just feel like the whole world is against me, I can find truth and hope in the promises of the Lord. Some of the verses below I have posted all over my office cubicle and it truly brings me back to a place of rest to read them over and over again...

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:14)

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." (Psalm 62:5)

"But he know the way I take; and when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:10)

"He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less." (John 3:30)

"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

Be Blessed and Encouraged!!

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