32 Months

Caleb, you are 32 months old!  WOW!  What a blessing and joy you are to daddy and I!  Truly, our days are filled with lots of cuddles, kisses, wrestling, playing and jumping on beds, eating lots of food and snacks, watching Thomas, VeggieTales or one of your other favorites, reading books, playing trains, drawing, spelling, counting (in English AND Spanish - he learned the Spanish from Dora!), dancing to music, doing our scripture memory verse, singing, coloring, racing cars, learning how to share with Asher, and definitely a few rough moments throughout each day!  Nonetheless, our lives and days are NEVER EVER boring!!!

This summer has been especially hard because of all this stinkin' hot weather!  68 days so far of temps over 100 degrees can definitely put a damper on outdoor fun, or trips in the car period, so we've spent A TON of time at home!  I don't think I've ever been so ready and excited for fall!!

Over this past month, you've have changed a lot.  It's been a great month of learning a lot of new things, but also very difficult month, as I feel like you are in the heat of the 2nd year brain development, and all the difficulties that come along with that.  There have been many tears, mostly from mommy, but you've had your share too.  And there has been more discipline than I'd really like.  Our timeout rug needs a time out.  Many times, mommy has needed, and has taken, a time out.  But most of the time, unfortunately, you're the one in timeout.  Sweet boy, I know this phase is so incredibly difficult for you.  Just know mommy and daddy love you UNCONDITIONALLY.  There is nothing you could ever do that would change that.  I know you don't quite understand what is going on in your brain right now, and most of the time your facial expressions and the way you react to situations make it very clear how much you don't understand what is going on.  I'm learning, on a daily basis, where to draw the line on discipline vs. giving grace and allowing you to share your emotions in a healthy way.  I know you need to be able to express yourself, but I think you are struggling with knowing how to actually do that, and so anything negative comes out as screaming or throwing yourself on the floor.  I'm trying to teach you how to scream in to your pillow, but you haven't caught on yet.  This is what I did when I was frustrated growing up, and it helped so very much, so I'm hoping maybe it will help you during your hard times as well.

My precious boy, mommy and daddy are learning just as much as you are right now, and for the first time as well.  We want what's best for you, and we know that we are not perfect, but are truly striving to honor the Lord with the way that we parent you.  Our hearts greatest desire is for our lives to be a reflection of God's love, so strongly, that one day you will trust him with your life, and give him every ounce of your being.  We pray for you every day, and will continue to do just that.  We are for you, we are your biggest fans, and even though this is a rough patch, we know that it is only a short time before it will be gone, and we will be in the next exciting phase of your life!  We love you more than words could ever express sweetheart, and are so excited to continue watching you as you grow and develop!  What a treasure you are to us!!

Here are a few pics from the last month!  We have had some GREAT memories made for sure!  And I just can't get enough of your sweet smiling face!!

cuddle time with daddy, a MUST and one of your favorite times of the day!

 daddy tickling you!

 daddy doing his george impression, and man is he good at it!!  You and Asher both love this!

 all smiles at the table, amazing!

 Your sweet face!

 BIG fun standing on daddy!!!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

11 Months

My sweet baby boy, today you are 11 months old, AHHHHH!! I cannot believe it's only 4 more short weeks until you turn ONE! Where did the time go?!? You are developing sooo fast, I can hardly keep up! You actually took your first couple steps on Sunday! I missed them, and you haven't taken any since, but I'm glad Daddy was here and got to see them, he's missed all of the other "firsts" for you and big brother!

You are OBSESSED with the train table that is taking up our dining room right now! Proof is in the pictures! Seriously, you spend at least 2 hours at that train table DAILY. I'm not exaggerating either!

You are down to three meals a day, and three bottles, breakfast, lunch and dinner! You are also sleeping wonderfully, all night 10-12 hours and you average 3 hours during the day for a nap. You have also dropped your morning nap which has been AMAZING! If only we could get this excessive heat to disappear so that we could actually leave the house without sweating!

You are much more vocal than Caleb was. You wake up and immediately start talking. You can't wait to come out and get in on all the action. You follow Caleb everywhere, which is just so fun to watch, and you love to wrestle and jump on his bed with him too!

You have graduated to taking big boy baths with your brother and you LOVE IT!!!

You also love playing with older kids and a lot of them! You do fabulous in the nursery at church, which is such a blessing, and you also love it when we go to the mall playgrounds, or out for playdates with friends!

Here are some of my favorite shots of you over the past month!!

Jenni, your fabulous babysitter that you adore!!

crazy hair, crazy face, CRAZY LOVE FOR THIS LITTLE HONEY!!!

Seriously kid, your hair is OUT OF CONTROL!!

playing trains with your buddy Dylan!

Some Haley love! She adores you!!!

SOOOO thankful you love bathtime the way you do!!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

31 Months

My sweet Caleb, today you are 31 months old! What a little firecracker you are these days! One minute your laughing hysterically, the next you're screaming in frustration. I thought maybe we had bypassed the "terrible two's", but fear not, you made sure we got to experience them first hand! Nonetheless, I love you just the same and am thankful more than anything for a healthy little man! The Lord is teaching me so many things right now, through you, and you don't even realize it!

Patience, something that we both often need with each other, but that mommy needs more. Inside voices, I know you still don't quite understand what that means, but you do know how to whisper now and you do a GREAT job of it when we take you in for bed and Asher is already asleep. Grace. I'm so thankful that the Lord showers me with grace, I just need to continue to put it in to practice with you. You need grace right now. You need discipline, but you also need grace. Your sweet little brain is working overtime and I can always tell when you aren't "feeling" right by the expression on your face. It truly says, "something is happening, but I don't know what, and I don't know how I feel about it, so I'm going to express my confusion through frustration, yelling and crying." I truly don't understand what all is happening in that little mind of yours either, but I know that it's harder on you than you are on me. Grace. Lord give me grace, so that I can shower my son with it. Patience. Lord give me patience so that I can shower my son with it as well.

On the flip side of things, the developments that your brain is making is coming out in learning new words, repeating entire phrases, being able to accurately respond to mommy when I ask you a question, being able to point things out in the car when I ask you what you see, and sooooo much more! This fills my heart with such joy, and often overwhelms me to the point of tears, to think that my once little baby boy, is now growing leaps and bounds in speech and actions! You have also learned to jump and boy oh boy do you LOVE jumping! On anything and everything, which is fine by me! I grew up jumping on the bed and it truly is a fond memory that I want you to have too!

You also LOVE your little brother, so very very much!! You are so concerned whenever you hear him crying. And the times that you have accidentally run in to him or toppled him over, you don't waste a second giving him loves. It truly is precious! A relationship that I know will just blossom over time!!!

Here are a few pics from the past month! I love you so very very much my little man! You are such a joyous treasure to me and daddy!!

July 4th pics!

Giving Asher "loves"!!

You and your crazy hair, I LOVE IT!!

A picture worth a thousand words. Pictures of you smiling have become extinct, and so the fact that I was actually a part of a picture with you smiling is truly a miracle!

For memory's sake, a picture of the lovely drawing you did on the dining room wall with your red crayon. There's never a dull moment with you little man, and I wouldn't trade my life for ANYTHING!!!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Eeeeek!!!

Oh. My. Goodness. I am so stinkin' excited!! With Caleb going to preschool this fall, I knew I wanted to **attempt** to make him a special, one-of-a-kind nap mat, and today, I woke up inspired to do so! I've had the fabric for quite some time, but honestly, it's been probably a year since I've pulled out my sewing machine. And, I've had the nap mat tutorial "favorited" for even longer. So, as I got started this morning, and was looking at the list of supplies I was going to need, I noticed that buttons were one thing that I've ALWAYS feared working with, and therefore never have. Until today! And I'm proud to say that after a few trial runs on some scrap fabric, I actually completed two button holes successfully!

To say that this project was hard is an understatement. I think I put it off for so long because I was scared of it. And maybe it was the fact that I actually got 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night thanks to my amazing hubby who got up with Asher, that inspired me. Either way, in about 5 hours start to finish, we have an awesome nap mat, and I am proud to say that I stand here in sheer amazement that I didn't yell, curse or shed a single tear while taking on this overwhelming task, even though I've got plenty of red dots on my finger tips from sticking myself with push pins!

I "eeekkked" with giddyness as I finished sewing on the last button and let Caleb take a test run. He didn't want to get off of it so I could take pics, which means maybe, just maybe, he will actually use it at preschool come September!

Here is the boy that I *slaved* over the sewing machine for today, just as I would any day of the week! He couldn't wait to lay down on it! He is calling it his nap night night mat, so cute!

The finished project, just waiting to be filled with my big boy!

The "outer shell", one of the cutest dinosaur prints I could find! SOOO much color and not too little boyish!

The finished project, all buttoned up and ready to go!

Finally, the strap, which Caleb won't be using because it's about as big as him, and I don't think he'll be able to carry it himself!

I am so absolutely thrilled with how it turned out and I know that it will be well loved not only by Caleb, but by Asher someday as well! And what a wonderful break it was to actually be creative and put it to good use! Thank you Aaron, for letting me take the time to do this today, I desperately needed to do something different than soothe our crying baby, or clean!! You rock!!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Struggling

As you can see, I haven't done a "real' post in quite some time. Other than the boys monthly updates, I honestly have not had the desire to do any posts. The past two months have brought me to my knees in prayer quite possibly more than any other time in my life. I'm not really sure where to start, except by stating this disclaimer **this post is being written to document life with two young boys. And I am fairly certain that 10+ years down the road, I will read this again, and laugh, and be reminded of how short this life stage is, even though right now, it feels like it will never end.**

I love my boys. More than life itself, I love them. I would do anything for them. I praise the Lord each day for blessing my life with them, two HEALTHY boys. But, something that I am learning as a momma, is that you truly never know what you are getting in to when you beg and plead with the Lord to give you a child. And that it doesn't matter how many you have, you still don't know what you're doing and you have to rely on the Lord just to make it through the day without having a mental breakdown.

These past few months have brought me to my core, down on my knees, weeping for the Lord to come in and in essence, rescue me, from this life stage. It is by far the most difficult and challenging thing I have ever done in my life. Oh, my sweet Asher, my little 10 month old honey, has been waking up nearly every night crying, screaming, talking and fussing, for hours and hours on end. No joke. Really. Now, most of you might say, well, that's normal for a baby. Unfortunately, my first child was nearly perfect as an infant, so I am absolutely clueless as to how to handle Asher. Also, very unfortunately, I am pretty sure that it's Caleb talking in his sleep/making noises that is waking up Asher, and since we only have two bedrooms in our tiny apartment, the boys are in the room together. Asher also had croupe and an ear infection that lasted a couple weeks, which I know threw off his sleeping as well. It's almost as if he gets back to sleeping through the night, and then he gets sick and it wipes his memory clean of knowing how to sleep through the night, so he has to relearn it all. And that's the point I feel like we are at today.

I have tried sleeping Caleb in our room. It works, for Asher that is. He sleeps without a peep all night. Caleb, on the other hand, wakes up, and like last night, was awake for 2 hours before I pulled him in bed with us, and it still took almost 30 minutes for him to fall back asleep. So, I've got one sleeping consistently each night, and the other one up for hours on end.

I know this probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but when you go weeks and weeks on end without a full nights sleep, and don't have the opportunity to nap during the day because of opposite nap schedules, and your kids wake up consistently by 6:30am, it wears you down. At least it does me.

I find myself on my knees right outside their closed bedroom door nearly every night, begging and pleading for the Lord to help. To silence my child so that we can all sleep and be rested for the next day. I have yet to have that prayer answered at that moment of praying it. And I get frustrated with God. I don't understand why when he has the power to help my child sleep all night, what is the purpose of not doing so? I get frustrated and I cry out to him, yell out to him. Countless nights I have cried myself back to sleep after waking up Aaron to "take over" since I've already been up for 2+ hours. I just don't understand. I just don't get it. It truly is worse than newborn phase, because at least then, most of the time you can feed them and they go right back to sleep. Asher doesn't do that. I can feed him and he will still stay awake for at least another hour.

All this to say, I am really struggling. Struggling to understand my child, what his needs are, if there is something wrong with him that I'm missing. I'm confused. He is absolutely great during the day. Naps well, plays with Caleb, has no problems from 7am - 7pm. It literally is just night time. I've tried every trick in the book that I can think of and am still at a loss. Tonight, I'm trying the very last thing I can think of, having Asher in the pnp in our room for the next few nights at least.

Anyway, there is a song, that I truly feel is my life story right now, and every time I hear it I cry buckets of tears. It's called "Blessings" by Laura Story.

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

Lord, please help me to trust You. Give me the energy and strength I need to make it through each day AND night. Whatever it takes for me to trust you, your timing, and your plan, I'm ready and willing. Even if it is a thousand sleepless nights. Just give me your strength, please. I'm desperate. I know you hear each spoken and unspoken word, just help me to trust you.

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

10 Months

Oh Asher, you are irresistible!! Your personality is blooming more and more each day and it is such a joy to see who you are becoming! You love your brother, and follow him everywhere! Some of your newest tricks, challenges and favorites from the past month are:

1. You are on three solid meals per day - WOO HOO!

2. You are obsessed with demolishing the train table, multiple times a day, and have such a fun time doing it too!

3. You also love our Lightening McQueen "shake n go" car and you will play with that on your own for 30-45 minutes at a time!

4. You enjoy getting out of the house, but do NOT like when the car is stopped, say at a red light or stop sign. You go in to full screaming mode, even with a pacy in!

5. You love to play on Caleb's bed with him, bouncing around and "wrestling" with him, it's so cute, and just a small glimpse in to what our world will look like in another 5 years!

6. You are full fledged crawling, AND walking along any piece of furniture you can find! Oh. My. Goodness. I'm not sure I'm ready for you to be walking on your own yet, even though I don't doubt you will be doing so by the end of summer!

7. Your top two teeth have now popped through and my goodness what a challenge that was. Crying and screaming for 4 hours one night, whew!

8. You have gone back to waking up most nights. Sometimes its only 15-30 minutes, but most nights it's at least 1 1/2 hours, sometimes up to 3 hours. I'm learning that this stage is even harder than newborn because at least then, I could give you a bottle and you'd be back to sleep right away. Now, I can give you a bottle, but you still choose to stay awake, and the only way you are quiet is if I'm rocking you.

9. You recently had Croupe, for the first time ever, and I NEVER want to have to deal with that again! Multiple rounds of steroids, antibiotics for an ear infection, and many days of breathing treatments. YUK!!! Seriously, sickfest 2011 needs to be done with, NO MORE SICK BABIES!!!

10. Dr. C thinks you might have a wheat allergy/sensitivity and so we've cut out any wheat from your diet and you are doing great without it! No problems eating, and no fussiness afterwards, so we will stick to this path for a while!

Overall, it's been a good month, if only we could get you back to sleeping through the night! We will be working on that this month and praying for rest for this extremely exhausted momma! Here are some of my favorite shots from the past month, enjoy!

I've nicknamed you my little senator, with your perfectly placed hair. it truly does that all on it's own and I can't help but look at you and envision some type of serious career ahead of you! With that said, you are also growing to be a very big and strong boy, maybe some type of sport is in your future too! Either way, I LOVE your hair, and those big puppy dog brown eyes too!

This picture is for sentimental reasons only. It's the first time Asher wore two piece pj's, and they were Caleb's! So sweet!!

Asher, you are SOOO VERY VERY loved by so many people, but more than anyone, by me and daddy! You bring us endless joy, and challenge us as well! We are so blessed to have you, and thank the Lord each day for your little life! We love you sweet honey!! Happy 10 month birthday!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

30 Months

Caleb, you are 2 1/2 years old today! Gosh, I can still remember the first time I held you in my arms, and now you are a full-fledged toddler, truly living up to every 2 1/2 year old expectation! This past month we've had lots of adventures, but the biggest one was taking on the task of potty training you. Oh boy, there is NOTHING that could have prepared me for this! I am convinced that it was more difficult than anything else I've done as your mom. Holy cow. We took the first weekend of June and were home bound for almost a full week while I did so much laundry that I felt like my washer/dryer could easily break at any moment from over-stimulation! And even so, you did exceptionally well, except for day four. That is a day I will remember forever as one of the most difficult days of my life. Seriously. Potty training is not for the faint of heart. Although neither is mothering!

Anyhow, you are continuing to grow and are developing in to such a sweet little man. You are passionate and have the temperament of your mother, and I'm not convinced that's a good thing yet! You like to scream in rebellion, which often lands you a spot on the timeout mat by thr front door, followed by either more screaming or crying. Thankfully, the two minutes you sit there really help you to calm down, and when I ask you to come see me when your time is up, you always respond with a "yes mam" and a "sorry mommy" and then some snuggles, which in turn MELTS MY HEART to its core! Overall, you are a wonderful, mild tempered boy who loves playing trains, building blocks, lego houses and watching videos!

your big boy undies getting ready to be washed and worn for the 1st time!

I couldn't help myself! You look so stinkin' cute in your big boy undies!!

This is what we do in the summer, we wear our winter gear around the house!

Pointing out his four buddies that he sleeps with! Monkey, George, Froggy and Doggie!

His sleeping buddies!

Just a little raspberry fun at lunch!

Playing trains with Asher! Oh how they LOVE playing trains together!

"Hi mommy!"

My sweet boy! Oh how I love you so much honey! You bring such joy in to my life and I thank the Lord for you every single day!! I love you, son!! Happy 2 1/2 birthday!!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!