A New Day Has Come

The Lord is so good to renew our minds and hearts with each new morning! After my last post, I spent some time reading the Psalms, I've been doing a lot of that lately and have found such comfort and assurance there that the Lord knows what he is doing and will take care of me and HIS little child growing inside me. My favorite chapter in the whole Bible has always been Psalm 139. There is such a peace that surpasses all understanding when I read and re-read that chapter. No matter where I'm at in my walk, or just life in general, I always get something wonderful from that passage, although never the same thing! Anyway, I just wanted to share that I know the Lord has such great plans not only for my life but for the life of my(HIS) child, no matter what happens, HE is in control and I am learning more and more each day to just trust Him, even though I do not see Him! Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with a peace in my spirit that I do not understand, for it is then I know that it is from you and you alone!!

Psalm 139 (ESV)

1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are even acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your righe hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
12 even the darkness in not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfull made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 The speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vail!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grevious way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Coming Back to You

Lord, it’s been quite some time since I’ve spent some quality time with you. No excuses. I’m dry. I’m empty. I’m wanting, searching, desiring & needing YOU and only YOU, right now. I know you meet me where I’m at, but I don’t even know where that place is right now. Please show me. Please fill me with your Spirit’s presence. Please fill me with your peace, joy, overwhelming love, grace and mercy. I know you can, I know you will, you promise me that in your Word. I have worries, I have fears, I have questions, I have anxieties, I have concerns, I have burdens. Yet, your Word says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Help me to believe that. Help me to write those words on my heart, not just remember them in my mind. I’ve been reading so many blogs lately of families who have suffered because of losing a child. Lord, I know your will is perfect, but I worry. I’m carrying this child of yours, but I fear that I may lose it before I get to spend any time with it. I’m fearful of keeping at arm’s length rather than run full force with love towards this little baby. I’m scared. I’m scared to get to close, I’m scared to connect, I’m scared to love. I’m scared that as soon as I give my all to this child that it will be taken from me. I know this fear is not from you, help me to fight off the enemy. These families seem so strong, I don’t know that I could ever be that strong in that situation. I fear that situation. Lord, I need you. I need your comfort, your assurance, your will to be revealed to me, please Lord. I need to trust you. I need to trust that you are holding this precious little life in your hands, keeping it safe, growing it strong and healthy. I don’t know that I have the strength to go through some of the things these other mommies have and are going through. My faith is not that strong. My heart is not that trusting. Please, please Jesus, keep your child safe inside me. Please help me to trust your will. Please help me to feel your Sprit alive inside me. Please help me to understand your will for my life and the life of our child, whatever that may be.

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Baby Garcia Updates!

I thought I would take a moment to update you all (if there are any of you that actually read this blog!) on the pregnancy! Things have been very rough. It seems that once I hit 7-8 weeks, I started getting really sick all of a sudden. I was literally spending more time in the bathroom at work than at my desk getting work done! So sad! I finally caved, ok gave in to my longings and called my doctor to see if I could get some medication. What a relief to know that I could get a great nausea & vomiting medication, Zofran, well, the generic, at a fraction of the cost as the name brand. Compare $1400 for the name brand to $7 for the generic, yeah, my thoughts exactly, RIDICULOUS!!!! Thank goodness that my nurse warned me about this so I wasn’t completely caught off guard when I called my insurance company. Anyway, although the nausea hasn’t completely disappeared, the vomiting sure has and that has been WONDERFUL!! I’ve been able to eat, even though there are still things that make me cringe, but I’m hoping and praying that since I will be 12 weeks this Sunday that the sickness will drastically fade away and I can move quickly into the “fun & uneventful” 2nd trimester!

Aaron and I are considering taking some classes later in the pregnancy and using the “Bradley Method” as our birthing method. I still need to gather much more information to determine if it will work with what we would like. After a discussion with my Physical Therapist, I’ve been told I’m not a candidate for a completely natural birth, that my “method” will be called a commonly known name, EPIDURAL! With all of the issues I’ve had in the past she didn’t feel like it would be beneficial for me to try to go all natural, and of course, I quickly agreed! I don’t have the stamina nor the pain tolerance for a completely natural birth. Sorry to all of those out you that might be offended by this. Props to you for being able to have your child the natural way, YOU ARE ALL AN INSPIRATION!!! SO, we will continue to evaluate the best options for us and our little beano as time goes on, we obviously still have plenty of time to plan!!

Clothing, wow, I didn’t think I would already be struggling with my pants fitting, maybe that’s a clue that I was wearing too small of pants to begin with, but I’m amazed at how tight things are fitting on me already! Of course, I’m enjoying a new wardrobe, thanks to some amazing girlfriends who have graciously given me bins to search through (Thanks Karla & Jen! Chelsi, I’m coming for your winter clothes when the time comes!!). It’s kind of like being able to shop for free! We are blessed to be the last ones out of our group of friends and family to have a baby, so I have to say I’m definitely looking forward to all of the GREAT hand-me-downs and maybe some visits to a few Highland Park garage sales in the mean time! If anyone wants to join in the garage sale-ing, let me know, it’s always more fun to travel in groups!!

I guess that’s all I have on baby for now. I’ll post after my 12-week appointment next Monday morning. I’m so excited, my parents will be in town and my mom is going to come to my appointment with me!! It might be her only chance to since they live in St. Louis. Well, have a wonderful day and don’t roast out in the Texas heat, it’s pretty bad!!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Bode & Ashley's Wedding!

A couple weeks ago, Aaron and I took 24 hours of our weekend and flew to Kansas City, MO to attend Bode & Ashley’s wedding. IT was a beautiful ceremony and great reception. Ashley was a STUNNING bride and her dress made me so jealous! It was one of the most amazing I have seen in a long time. Bode did an amazing job of putting together a slideshow of pictures and videos and shared it during the ceremony. Once we sent them off with bubbles, we returned to our hotel, which happened to be the place the reception was, the Ramada Inn, in St. Joseph, MO. The reception was great, the cake was amazing and I’m just dying to know how much they made on the dollar dance, it was like six songs long!! Anyway, congrats to you both, Bode & Ashley! We love you! Ashley, welcome to the Big-D! It will take some getting used to you but I’m sure you will grow to love it here! We will love having you, that’s for sure!! Hope y’all are having a great time on your honeymoon right now! Congratulations to the newlyweds, Mr. & Mrs. Patrick Bodenhausen!

Here's a couple pics for you to see!

Aaron & I all Dressed Up!(Not my best picture, I was pretty sick that night!)

The whole Dallas clan!!

The feeding of the cake! Notice the headshots on the top of the cake!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

San Antonio

So, Aaron and I made our first long weekend get-a-way in quite some time last weekend (May 30-June 2) and took a road trip to San Antonio, Texas! This was my first time there and what a cool place it is! (Note that I've only lived in Texas for 5 1/2 years. That's why it was my 1st time). We rented a nice car and made the 5 hour drive on Friday. After making my much needed trip to Fazoli's (there are none in the Dallas area, and the closest one to home is Waco, luckily right on the way!) for some breadsticks, we stopped to eat lunch in Austin and checked in to our AMAZING hotel about 2:30pm.

Let me back this story up with the inital reason we decided on San Antonio. Aaron's parents had "won" a trip there but as a part of the deal, you had to sit it and listen to one of those timeshare deals. Anyway, they gave the vacation package to us and we very eagerly took them up on the offer!

Ok, so the hotel we stayed at was called the St. Anthony (Wyndham Hotel). I could probably best describe it as a hotel straight out of the early 20's. Gorgeous interior, tall ceilings, four-poster beds, french style bathrooms, just simply beautiful!! I've never stayed in a hotel quite like it! (See room pics below...)

After relaxing a bit, we decided to venture out and grab some Mexican on the Riverwalk. We were directed to a place called Rio Rio Cantina, by our very helpful Concierge at the hotel. Needless to say, though, the restaurant was a HUGE flop! The chips and salsa were horrible as was the service. I know most restaurants will make an exception and allow someone to order from the kids menu if they so choose. Well, since I have been experiencing early pregnancy symptoms at their finest, there was not a lot I could even look at on the menu. After requesting the kids cheese quesadillas and getting a very firm "no" from our waiter, I proceeded to ask if I could then have the appetizer order of chicken quesadillas without the peppers, and again, received a firm "no" along with a quick "we do not make custom orders." Aaron, at this point, was about ready to just walk out of the restaurant, and I was almost in tears (stupid hormones!!). After informing the waiter that I was pregnant and could not bear the thought of eating anything else on the menu, he FINALLY offered to let me order the kids dish, but "only if you promise not to tell ANYONE!" (direct quote from the waiter himself)! I was in disbelief that we were give such grief at what seemed to be a fairly nice restaurant. Anyway, once the food came, I was quite happy, even though everything was VERY bland for a "Mexican" restaurant. Needless to say, we will never go back there, and do not recommend it! The good thing is that, that part of the weekend was the only bad experience we had!

After dinner, we took a cruise on the River. So COOL! So much ancient history and architecture to look at. And there were even a few baby ducks (I'm a huge fan of any baby animal, if you know me at all, you know I'm a sucker for them!). The boat was tight quarters, but Aaron and I got to sit on the front end and so we had a great view for picture taking (see more pics below!).

Saturday morning, we woke up and headed off to grab a quick breakfast and then off to the "timeshare" meeting. Wow, what an energy stealer!! Almost 120 minutes of sheer torture. Although the idea of the Wyndham Resorts Timeshare program makes complete sense (you can use your timeshare points anywhere in the world - at any Wyndham Resort - at anytime. You are not locked down to just one week, at one location.) the fact that we do not even own our own home yet, made it very clear to them that we were not going to buy into their timeshare.

After lunch, we headed out to Sea World and let me just tell you how COOOOOOL this place is!! The heat was overbearing and I had to rest every ten minutes or I was going to fall over and pass out (shade is almost unheard of at this place), but that was the only downside in my opinion. We went to four different shows and all were great! My absolute favorite was Shamu (who's isn't, right?!?!?). Wow, talk about an astonishing animal! I have to admit, I got really emotional and shed a couple of tears because I was just so overwhelmed by God's creatures that were swimming and jumping right in front of my face!! (See pics below...)

Sunday we slept in a little bit and enjoyed some nice relaxing time together before heading off to breakfast. We went to an amazing little restaurant on the Riverwalk again and enjoyed a nice, quiet, cool breakfast in the shade. We then went and saw the famous Alamo ( a lot smaller than I envisioned). It was a great ending to a great weekend! We then checked out and headed home, with another quick stop at Fazoli's for me and a drivethru of the San Marcos outlet which I will be visiting in August and can't wait to spend a little money at!!

I did OK over the weekend but still battled nausea everyday, all day, just as it has been since the very beginning (and I mean very beginning, like 3-4 DPO!). YUK!!

Overall, I give S.A. a 3.7 out of 5 on my vacation spots to visit list. Everyone who lives in Texas should visit at least once in your lifetime, it's well worth it!!

Our WONDERFUL, COMFY Bed!

The really cool french style bathroom

The Riverwalk

The view from the breakfast place we ate at Sunday morning

We even got to see a wedding take place as we were on the River Tour Boat!!

More of the Riverwalk

More of the Riverwalk

The Rivercenter Mall, located on the Riverwalk

The Shamu Show!!

My favorite pic!

The famous Alamo!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

The Lord is SOOOO good!!

I can't even put in to words how THRILLED BEYOND BELIEF I am to be making this post today!! As many of you know all I have ever wanted to be in life is a mommy. Well, the Lord has been gracious enough to answer my prayers! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!! Oh my gosh, I can't beleive it!! We went to the Dr. today and had our first sonogram (see pictures below) and also got to hear baby's heartbeat (a fast 174 BPM!!). It was amazing, more than I could ever have imagined!! Our estimated date of arrival is January 11, 2009 and believe me, I know that the next 7 months is going to fly by! We covet any and all prayers as we are aware that we are not "in the clear" as of yet. We trust the Lord and know that this is HIS child and not ours and that His will is better than anything we could imagine, even if we don't understand it. Please pray for safety, health for the baby, and myself as I am dealing with major nausea. And please pray for Daddy (Aaron) that the Lord would continue to prepare his heart for being a father.

Thank you Lord for this wonderful blessing. Thank you for entrusting us with one of your children. Please keep your child safe as it grows inside me and help me to be mindful of this amazing gift each and everyday! We love you and thank you so much for all of the blessings you have given us!!

Baby Garcia (8 weeks and 1 Day)

Baby Garcia and the Heartbeat!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Tragedy and Understanding...Two Words That Often Contradict Each Other

Tragedy: An event resulting in great loss or misfortune.

When tragedy strikes, our most often response is a simple "why?" "Why did this happen?" "How can good come out of this tragedy?" "Lord, what were you thinking?"

This morning I read a tragic story about a man who has deeply influenced my life and the lives of millions all across the world. Steven Curtis Chapman. Most of us know at least his name and some of us have been greatly impacted by his gifts and talents he has used through music. His love of music is great, but his love for his family is even greater. Yesterday, his youngest daughter, Maria, was struck and killed by their car in the gravel driveway of their home. While that is sad, the other half of this accident is that one of Steven's teenage sons was driving the car when it happened. Tragedy. As I read multiple news stories, I couldn't help but cry tears of pain and sadness for him, his family and his precious little girl. My heart aches for them right now. And then I was graciously reminded that the she is in Heaven, with our Father, our Lord, and my heart began to slowly feel the peace of the Lord. While we will never understand the ways of the Lord, one thing I know for sure is he is faithful to carry us through when we cannot walk on our own.

"I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you in the palm of my hands..." Isaiah 49:16

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your weary souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-29

I have no clue what it's like to lose a child, but I can almost guarantee that it truly is one of the most heart wrenching times in any mother or father's life.

To the Chapman family, my heart goes out to you. My prayers go out to you. May you find peace in the midst of tragedy and truly cast all your burdens on Christ, our author and perfector, our Healer, our Comforter, our Father, our Provider, our Daddy.

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

The Art of Snoozing

Monday mornings at our house start off like any other day of the week, at least they do for my husband. Aaron has the gift of discipline, something I lack in every area of my life, but especially when it comes to waking up and getting out of bed. While Aaron may hit the snooze once or twice, I on the other hand hit the snooze button most mornings until I know my alarm will automatically turn off, one hour later. And at 9 minute intervals, it’s not likely that I’m actually gaining anything by doing this, except the thrill and comfort of feeling my head hit the pillow over and over again. You see, I purposely bought a new alarm clock last year that only allowed the alarm to go off for one hour, and then the alarm would completely shut down. My reasoning: LAZINESS!! You see, my morning pillow time is precious to me! I HATE MORNINGS, especially MONDAYS!! And you know what makes it worse? When the sky is dark and filled with clouds or better yet, a soft rain is coming down and maybe a little thunder. Now that to me is the perfect sleeping in, bed in breakfast, HGTV watching morning! Needless to say, I’m not a morning person! In fact, I often find myself envying my husband, because he is up out of bed, making his breakfast, watching the morning news (or whatever cartoon is on), hopping in the shower and getting ready for work (even if he has no where to be!). Note that while he is doing all of this, I am still snoozing! He has his morning routine down and I am still struggling to even open my eye lids all the way! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried many different approaches to my morning routine (or lack thereof). I’ve tried to write out my schedule so as to have a “checklist” sort of “alarm”. I’ve tried moving my alarm clock across the room so I actually have to fully get out of bed to turn off the alarm. I’ve tried having Aaron rip the covers off me. I’ve tried having him tickle me. I’ve even tried to have my cell phone alarm get me out of bed (you know, that annoying sound your cell phone puts off when you have set an appointment or anything of that nature on it!). Nothing I’ve tried seems to work! Obviously, there are many days I just give up and give in to my natural tendencies and habits that I’ve carried for more than a decade. But then I have mornings like today, where I truly want to wake up early, go grab some Starbucks and sit and have some time with my Lord. Oddly enough (or maybe not at all), even that has not gotten me up early this morning.

It’s been said that people with healthy sleep habits tend to fall asleep within 10-20 minutes (about.com). So what’s with the snooze? As a fellow blogger states, “The answer is obvious: 9 minutes is just enough time to almost fall back to sleep. This means that the snooze button is actually a torture device.” Wow, what an epiphany!

So, in the process of trying to better myself, have more energy and maybe even not be so moody, I will in fact attempt again, tomorrow morning (and possibly many more mornings after that) to actually get up when my alarm FIRST goes off! I mean, I figure I have three options here, I can 1.) Get up when I intend to get up (the first alarm) 2) Set the alarm to go off at a later time (the time I actually roll out of bed) since I obviously do have the extra time to kill, or 3) go about with my normal routine and just slap that snooze button every 9 minutes for about an hour!

Know that if you are a fellow snoozer, you are not alone, and there is hope for all of us!!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!

Our newest family member!

We've jumped in with the crowd and have our first pet! "Hopper" joined our family only two days ago and I'm already loving it! Since Aaron is allergic to cats and we're not ready for a puppy, I've been asking for a bunny for about two years now. I am a huge animal lover, especially when their cute and furry. Aaron surprised me at work on Wednesday with Hopper. Hopper comes from a client of Aaron who was trying to minimize household pets (they already have 2 bunnies & 2 dogs). They gave us everything to go along with Hopper including his cage, food, bedding and toys! We're in a "trial" period right now, to make sure Aaron's not allergic to him, but everything seems to be going great so far outside of an allergy to Hopper's hay. Just means I'll be his housekeeper and will be the one making sure he has clean bedding and litter! Anyway, here's a few pics of Hopper's first day in his new home!

Be blessed & encouraged!

Breathing Again...

This post comes weeks overdue, and with no excuses. Life has happened and I have quickly learned time escapes us more swiftly than our eyes can even see. You could look at my calendar and see that the past month has been slow and uneventful, but the emotions and events in my heart would say otherwise. How I long to share my deepest longings and desires, to shout them from a mountain top, maybe then, the Lord will hear my cry. There are many others in this world who are starving for life, for love, for family, for work, for a place to call home, and yet, I sit here and write about my shaken soul, my untrusting spirit, and my unworthy heart as if my needs are greater than any of those who are lost and aching around me. Why must I beg for more when I have so much to give? Why must I find myself in a place of longing rather than a place of rest and contentment? Must my heart always desire more than the blessings I have already been granted in this life? More than anything in this world, more than any house, or car, or new clothes, or any material item I can purchase with money, I desire a family. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. There has never been anything as enticing to me as loving another person more than humanly possible. One time person emerging from two souls. A chance to whole-heartedly give of yourself, so selflessly. And yet, I find myself questioning the Lord's timing in all of this, wondering when it will be "my turn" as if I am holding a number in a long line of women who desire the same exact thing as I, rather than saying with a heart full of conviction and trust, "Your will be done, Lord, whatever it is, I trust your heart more than I trust my own desires." My time with the Lord has been rare and even then, uneventful. And as I have said before, I find the most contentment when I am truly in communion with my loving Savior. I have found myself wondering if my lack of children is some sort of punishment for past sins, and I praise the Lord for allowing me to actually see these thoughts for what they truly are, lies. I will no longer allow Satan to have a stronghold on my thoughts. My mind must be filled with the truth and knowledge of Jesus Christ, and Him alone.

I was out sick all last week with a sinus infection. After quickly going through three full boxes of Kleenex, and hours of HGTV and napping, I realized that I procrastinate excessively more than I ever imagined possible. Maybe it was the thought of staring at small typed words (the Bible), or the lack of focusness available when I could not hear, breathe or see clearly, but for some reason, I did not spend a single moment of those five days with my Jesus. How much longer is it going to take for me to realize and understand that He doesn't want 10% of me, He wants ALL of me. He doesn't want just two hours of my week, He wants ALL of my week! Every single moment, every sniffle, every cough, every tear, every heartbeat are His. Man, what a great opportunity I just missed out on! To spend endless hours in conversation with my maker, emotions and all! Pure disregard for the opportunity to have dinner with my provider, my father, my healer, my comforter, my Jesus. Oh how my heart longs for a "do-over". A chance to take back all of those meaningless hours spent in front of a manmade distraction (T.V.) instead of being still before the Everlasting God. A chance to sit face to face with the One who knows me better than I will ever know myself. The One who hears my prayers, who knows my thoughts, who longs to fill my desperate heart with the only thing that will replace void with and unexplainable joy.

Lord, give me a heart for you! Give me a desire and passion for you that is greater and larger than anything else that can fit in my tiny heart. Teach me discipline, teach me conviction, and teach me your Word, the word full of life, the word full of hope, the word full of your promises.One of my favorite things about being a child of the Perfect God is that EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY!! My past is just that, my past. I no longer have to dwell on mistakes or sins committed, but I have the opportunity to rely on the promises of my heavenly father, the one who "...created my inmost being, who knit me together in my mother's womb...who's eyes have seen my unformed body, and wrote all the days of my life in His book before even one came to be..."

Lord, I commit today to you. I commit to love you more than any other, to live my life as a vessel for you, to open my heart and allow you full control of my thoughts, desires, emotions, my whole being. Thank you for your everlasting and unconditional love, a love that I do not have to earn, but is FREELY given to me!

Be Blessed and Encouraged!